It started in elementary school. A tiny tot that preferred going to school instead of playing with the other kids at the weekend or even having holidays. No grades under B. Never. Eventually the teacher is speaking in high terms of me and my mommy and daddy are happy too. The fastest in mental maths, the fifth-grader with an almost perfect spelling. The more I think about it, my tendency towards perfectionism and the desire to please everybody has always been a faithful accompanist.

Educational, occupational, private – in all aspects of life it pursues me and caused many disappointments… about myself. Mostly we are our owns worst and relentless critic. Whilst we would never think that our seatmate with at least 5kg more wight on his hips is “fat” we go back home, watch into the mirror and assess ourselves as fat. And when our girlfriend tells us about her small margin passed final exam, we are jumping of joy for her – whilst we would not be very happy if it was our own grade.

We want to be perfect in all situations of life. We want to please everybody with what we do and how we do it. Sometimes it may works, but often we fail and make life difficult by constantly trying to improve in everything. We start to compare with others and draw ourselves down if Mrs. XY does this or that better than we do. Now, there’s one simple problem: Nobody is perfect! It may sounds so vanilla, but it’s actually true as the definition of perfection varies from person to person. Therefor as such we have no chance to please them all but still we don’t give up trying. Therefor my message to the world (and myself!) today: Stop the perfectionism! Life your life, enjoy it, allow mistakes and learn from them without pulling yourself down. Happy sunday, loves!

Es begann damals in der Grundschule. Ein kleiner Knirps, der lieber die Schulbank drückte, als am Wochenende mit Freunden zu spielen oder gar Ferien zu haben. Noten unter einer 5 gab es nicht. Niemals. Denn schliesslich lobt mich der Lehrer immer, wenn er die Prüfungen verteilt und Mama und Papa freuen sich. Die schnellste Kopfrechnerin, die 5.-Klässlerin mit der beinahe fehlerfreien Rechtschreibung. Je mehr ich darüber nachdenke, dieser Hang zum Perfektionismus und der Wunsch, es allen immer Recht zu machen, war schon immer ein treuer Begleiter.

Schulisch, beruflich, privat – in allen Bereichen des Lebens verfolgt er mich und sorgte schon für so manche Enttäuschung… über mich selbst. Denn meist sind wir unsere schärfsten und erbarmungslosesten Kritiker. Während wir unseren Sitznachbarn im Zug mit 5kg mehr auf den Rippen, niemals als “fett” empfinden würden, stehen wir vor dem Spiegel und finden uns selbst als zu fett. Wenn unsere Freundin von Ihrer knappen Abschlussnote erzählt, freuen wir uns riesig für Sie, für den Fakt, dass sie bestanden hat – wären aber selbst enttäuscht über eine knappe Note.

Wir wollen perfekt sein. In allen Lebenslagen. Wollen allen gefallen, mit dem was wir tun und wie wir es tun. Manchmal mag es klappen, doch oft scheitern wir und machen uns das Leben damit schwer, uns ständig in jeglicher Hinsicht verbessern zu wollen. Wir vergleichen uns mit anderen, lassen uns herunterziehen, wenn Frau XY diese oder jenes besser kann. Es gibt nur eine Problem an der ganzen Sache: Niemand ist perfekt! Mag vielleicht plump klingen, ist aber tatsächlich wahr, denn Perfektion wird von jedem anders gesehen und gewertet. Wir haben also schlichtweg keine Chance und doch versuchen wir es es weiterhin. Deshalb meine Message (auch an mich selbst!) für heute: Stoppt den Perfektionismus! Lebt euer Leben, geniesst es, lasst Fehler zu und lernt daraus, ohne euch gleichzeitig selbst niederzudrücken. Happy Sunday!

Get the look
Blouse: super old but similar one
Skirt: Max&Co.
Bag: Chloé Drew or budget piece
Hat: old, but other brown hat
Shoes: Valentino or budget option

Photos: Joy Oelen

90 Comments: ADD YOURS


  1. forever my favorite outfit

  2. Chic, würd ich gerne anziehen, jedoch ohne Hut und Boots statt Heels=) Lieber Gruss, Ronja

  3. Beautiful message!
    New post on my blog: http://fashionteenagerss.jimdo.....good-idea/

  4. That’s such a nice message. What I realized from this article is that we have a lot of things in common. I am a perfectionist as well and I procrastinated on starting my blog just because I didn’t have a dSLR (everything must be perfect, right?) But then one day, I just wanted to do it, so I took my friend with me, gave her my S4 and asked her to take my photos. She did and here I am still blogging with my phone until I can finish my second faculty program, get a job, and buy a dSLR. Lesson: if we wait until everything is perfect, we will never move a foot.

  5. I know exactly what you mean! I have always been a perfectionist and was only satisfied with an A+. While it is good to strive for perfection, I definitely felt a lot of pain and frustration because of this as well. I still try to work towards “perfection” in everything I do; however, I am also learning to give myself some slack when I make mistakes – as much as I want to be perfect, I have to realize that I never will *sigh*

    Anyways, thanks for the pep talk! Love your outfit! You look wonderful :)

  6. Beautiful outfit and amazing message!

  7. Love how the band of your skirt matches perfectly with your blouse. I absolutely adore this look on you and your hair is perfect! Perfect – I don’t realize how often I throw that word around, but it’s something I struggle with every day. It keeps me from getting things accomplished or even starting. The desire to be perfect is ultimately my downfall in most things. Lately, I’ve been trying to focus on just getting in the game. And forgetting about perfect. It’s one day at a time, but it’s a necessary battle.

  8. Hi dear! I don’t know about you..but your outfit is simply PERFECT! amazing color comb so elegant and romantic!Love the bag too! Amazing!

  9. Wise words! Nobody has to try to be perfect ’cause nobody is! Many times I see people who comment below some cool shots/videos saying that “Mr/Mrs X’s life is perfect, mine is so boring”, but they do not realize that they see just a small part of their actual life and that’s so wrong, their mindset is wrong.

    Anyway, back to the outfit, you rock girl! I looove it, especially the colour of the blouse.

    Have a nice day. :)
    Child of the Ocean

  10. Love this skirt and love your words! I think so many bloggers fall into the “my life is perfect” trap and it’s so refreshing to read blogs that have real women behind them, women that are struggling with how messy life can be and still embracing it for what it is. So thank you! xx

  11. Love this color palette for your outfit!

    Agnes x

  12. Well said! Although I must say: your outfit is pretty perfect ;)

  13. Sehr schön geschrieben dein Text! In meinen Augen bist du “perfekt” :-)

  14. I love your style and those shoes are gorgeous! xo

    Sarah Louise Porter Blog

  15. Love your thought on this subject.


  16. What a wonderful observation, I totally agree. Lately I’ve been working on becoming better at failing. I believe the better you get at failing the more confident you’ll become, because you fear less.

    xxx Daphny –

  17. I recognize a lot in your words and trying to tone down my own perfectionism is definitely something I need to work on, too! It would make life so much easier, but it’s extremely tough to find balance. It’s nice to hear I’m not alone, thanks for sharing :-)

    Very pretty outfit, the colors are unusually beautiful and those shoes are kick-ass!


  18. Süße Kombination.. :)

    Liebe Grüße

  19. I am so happy I found your blog, seriously obsessing over your style! Love the mustard colored top paired with skirt! Flawless :)

    xx Arwa

  20. the wearer and the outfit complement so much to perfection and beauty…so this post, Michelle..

  21. I found your blog via another blogger and I must say I love everything about this look. I love the Peter Pan collar and the mixing of prints that the skirt has naturally (or rather scale of print). And European architecture is so much prettier than what we have stateside.

  22. Toller Look. Der Rock und die Bluse passen so toll zusammen. Die Schuhe sind auch der Wahnsinn, ich hätte aber andere kombiniert. Aber ist ja Geschmacksache.
    Die Sonnenbrille gibt’s jetzt übrigens auf meinem Blog :) Schau doch vorbei!
    Liebe Grüße
    Jennie :)

    • Gelbe oder braune Pumps wären dazu tatsächlich schöner gewesen. Nur habe ich beides nicht– Oh Gott, eine Lücke in meinem Schuhschrank =D

  23. What a perfectly color coordinated outfit, I love it! You’re amazing girl, don’t worry about the small things. What it comes down to is being a good and kind person, nothing else really matters :)


  24. you always have the chicest looks and best photography! obsessed with this outfit! the color combo is fantastic!

  25. Great post. It is so true and we often need this reminder. I really like this outfit. The colour of the top looks so great on you.

  26. Wonderful message! Couldn’t agree more. Your outfit is gorgeous love the colors. :D

  27. Du siehst einfach wundervoll aus :)

    Liebste Grüße
    Jana von

  28. Gorgeous outfit! You are absolutely beautiful.
    I completely understand that pressure to be perfect. It is always important to remember that perfection is impossible and the most important thing is to be happy.


  29. So pretty! Love your skirt<3

    Shall We Sasa

  30. Wow. Just a stunning mix of colors and pieces! You look so chic. Adore the Chloe bag!

  31. Amazing style! Lovely skirt!

  32. Great words! So true!
    You outfit is so perfect! I love the colors of the blouse and the skirt,

  33. I love your outfit, so smart and chic, I love peplum tops, also I can relate so much to what you said, I’m such a perfectionist, and most of the time this drives me crazy, sometimes it’s good to take life easy!

  34. Toller Look Michele! Der Rock steht dir super. Deine persönlichen Gedanken bezüglich des Perfektionsimus finde ich berührend. Ich glaube es geht allen manchmal so. Ich habe den Gedanken, allen gefallen zu wollen vor einiger Zeit abegeschworen. Hauptsache man ist mit sich selber glücklich, das ist doch was am Schluss wirklich zählt. Man kann es, wie du gesagt hast, sowieso nie allen recht machen. Liebe Grüsse Carina

  35. Great photos! I love the layout of your blog too!

    • Thanks a lot, Brenda. I appreciate this a lot as I designed it myself =D

  36. I can relate so much with what you’re saying. I’ve been that “super smart” girl all my life, my teachers and parents always counting on me to have the best grades and classmates calling me “nerd”. I guess I felt the pressure of being at the top during all my time in school. And, lastly I passed my exams, had a great grades and even a good mention (which is something anyone would be happy of) but I did not got the mention I wanted, and I was so disappointed. Nevertheless I couldn’t tell my friends and complain.. Never being satisfied of myself is something redoubt everytime I am trying to do my best at something! Perfectionism!
    Hope I didn’t bother you with my long comment, but your text helped me a little to feel less guilty and concerned about being perfect.
    A despite what you say, you look perfect in this outfit, I love the colors!

    Maë –

    • You didn’t bother me at all, Maë. I always love to hear the thought and stories of my readers and I absolutely feel you. I’ve passed all my final exams and graduations with best grades in the class and still I sometimes wished to have an ever better grades what is actually so stupid. I often expect much more from myself than I can actually handle – like doing many things at the same time: work, blogging, studies, personal life. Sometimes we need to set priorities and allow ourself to do only good or ok instead of expecting us to be perfect in everything. We should rather enjoy things much more instead of being focused to do it best. So thanks again for your words. Let us both try to let things just go – although the might go wrong :-)

  37. Love your candid thoughts & your gorgeous outfit ♥

    Xoxo, Shelly Stuckman

  38. i agree, life is not meant to be lived perfect-ly! but girl, you do look pretty perfect in these photos ;) hehe

  39. Sehr schön geschriebene ehrliche Worte + super schöne Bilder, ich bin sicher dieser Post an sich ist ziemlich perfekt!

  40. Pretty sure you already are perfect. This outfit is killer/to die for. ;)

    XO K

  41. fantasitc outfit, you’re perfect


  42. i love the message in your post and your outfit is complete perfection


    A.Viza Style

  43. OMG!!! How perfect you are! your photos are SO amazing my dear! Love your style!

  44. beautifully written! Perfectionalism can sometimes take over our life. I’m often very critical about myself. Often I’m not happy with what I accomplished….but life has taught me to take it easy…at least sometimes.

    you look so pretty….and tres chic!
    fabulous heels!

  45. Very inspiring post, really stunning outfit c:

  46. Gorgeous!
    Loveeeee your outfit ^^
    great colors and I really like the hat:)

  47. Perfectionism is so common, yet can be such a limitation to your life! I’m a therapist, so help others with their perfectionism, yet I definitely have to challenge my own as well. Lovely post, and beautiful outfit, as always!

    • In fact perfectionism has its good sides as well as it pushes us to reach our goals and challenge ourselves. We just need to find the right balance and accept things in which we will never be good or even perfect, right? Thank you, Jen!

  48. Wow! Diese Kombination ist ein absoluter Traum!

  49. What a mesmerizing ensemble! So pretty – and you are totally right!

    Laiyin ||

  50. The combination of colours is gorgeous. Shoes and bag are to die for!

  51. So gorgeous! Love the combination of colors in this outfit :)

    Enclothed Cognition

  52. you’re sooo prettyyy!

    check out my blog + follow back?

    Jess |

  53. Mir gefällt dein Outfit sehr gut. Es ist sehr harmonisch. Deinen Beitrag finde ich auch super. Ich kenne diesen Drang perfekt sein zu wollen nur zugut.
    Liebe Grüsse

  54. This post is so easy to relate to – I feel as if you’ve described me to a T!

    Your outfit though…it’s just brilliant! Everything from the hat and bag to the shirt, skirt, and shoes – you look positively divine!


  55. Great thought, nobody is perfect and will never be, and we all have to admit it, to be more kinder to ourselves and people who surround us:)
    Very cool outfit, by the way!
    mynameiskristina blog
    // bloglovin

    • We definitely have too! Why making our own life more difficult than it already is. :-)

  56. This truly is the perfect outfit. From color combination to textures it’s all so pretty and perfectly combined. I agree with you that nobody is completely perfect. My nature is to try to be perfect but learned to lay more importance on being natural, easy going and just be and let it be. :)

    • I am happy to hear that you learned these things. I often still struggle with letting things just happend without having control of if. But I’m learning too :-)

  57. I love your skirt and your shoes!

  58. Love this outfit so much!! Cute and fun!!

  59. I believe the skirt is from Max&Co. and not MaxMara…

    • Just checked and you’re right. I bought it in a MaxMara boutique that’s why I had in mind it’s MaxMara. They have both, the main brand and sub-brand in store then. Thanks for the note.

  60. You look amazing in these pictures. I totally understand the pressure when everyone has some high expectations on you. I’ve been in that situation all my life. Have a nice weekend, dear.


  61. Wenn ich das sagen darf: dein Outfit ist perfekt kombiniert (da ist das Wort Absicht). Ich kenne diesen Perfektionismus von mir selbst. Wir neigen leider dazu, unseren Ansporn und unsere Enttäuschung aus Negativ-Vergleichen zu ziehen. Andere sind besser – der falsche Weg. Ein Positiv-Vergleich kann einen viel eher aufbauen: anderen geht es schlechter als mir.
    Oder: jeder ist wie er nun mal ist, mit Stärken und Schwächen!
    Daran kann keiner rütteln denn es ist so wahr wie befreiend.

    Liebste Grüße
    Kali von Miss Bellis Perennis

    • Ach du bist so süss, Kali. dank dir für den super lieben Kommentar. Du hast absolut recht, manchmal sind Vergleich mit anderen, die etwas besser können und besser machen, natürlich auch gut, um sich selbst zu verbessern und sich ein Vorbild daran zu nehmen. Schade ist nur, wenn Neid dabei aufkommt und es einen selbst herunterzieht statt aufzubauen und zu motivieren. Liebe Grüsse an dich.

  62. Nice color mix! ..but that hat would be impossible to be worn here at this moment with 35ºC ;)

    ❤ Kisses from

    • Really, I love to wear hats when it’s hot. It keeps my head cool and I don’t get head ache from the bright sun :)

  63. Also in der Schule war ich nie eine Streberin :D Dafür fand ich die Schule zu langweilig!
    Aber wenn mich etwas wirklich interessiert – dann bemühe ich mich auch :)
    Schönes Outfit!

  64. Wow! Amazing look! Loooove your blog so much! <3


  65. Kein guter Anfang, denn dein Outfit ist nunmal einfach perfekt! ;-D Love it!
    Ansonsten gebe ich dir natürlich recht – gerade das, was uns nicht perfekt macht, macht uns doch auch irgendwie ein Stück liebenswert!

    Hab einen wunderschönen Sonntag!
    Die Steffi

    • Da hast du auch recht. Wäre irgendwie eine grausig langweilige Welt, wenn wir alle perfekt wären =D

  66. Dein Look heute steht dir sehr gut und ich würde ihn fast genauso tragen wie du! :-*

  67. I think perfection is all the mind even though we strive for it , the more one thinks about and puts in the effort then we can attain our level of perfection . I really like you skirt and you look pretty on the way you styled it.

  68. I think that’s the sweetest post and completely agree with what you’re saying. Nobody is perfect so lets not be harsh. I guess that’s why one of my favourite quotes these days is ‘the master failed more times than the beginner had even tried’ . The thing is we need to fail once in a while to become the best :)
    Loving the way you’ve put your outfit together btw, the shoes especially x

    The Fairytale Pretty Picture

    • I am glad you liked the post, Aline!! And thanks for this quote. Definitely counts to my favorites now!! So true!

  69. You are totaly right, life is to enjoy it and be yourself :-) Your outfit is just amazing, each detail is perfect. I love your skirt <3

  70. Great post and look! I totally agree. I’ve been a perfectionist for as long as I can remember. I rather not do something if I know I won’t be able to finish it off perfectly. It definitely is a struggle at times but it is what it is and I’ve learned to live with my desire to try and be “perfect”.

    x- Naomi in Wonderland

  71. Oh wieder so ein schönes Outfit!
    Ich könnte jedes mal heulen wenn ich die schönen Designer Teile an dir sehe :D Ich kann mir nicht mal eines dieser Stücke leisten

  72. love this look with the midi skirt and the heels are awesome!

  73. I love your writing! Although I agree with you, cuz trying to be the best and pleasing everybody doesn`t always work, so we get so disappointed, but at least, we try. And trying to be the best will eventually, make us the best.
    Or screw us up and never be pleased about our own victories and successes…and life in general..
    Ok, this could go on forever. Basically, I love your outfit and your style and that Chloe bag, is to die for!

  74. was für ein schöner look! der kragen deiner bluse gefällt mir besonders – ist so ein kleines detail. das sofort meine aufmerksamkeit auf sich gezogen hat!

  75. Omg… This is like I’m reading about myself and my life word to word… I still have a lot of work to do on myself and my self confidence but I’ve gone a long way from where I used to be at. Well, you’ve become a gorgeous and very inspiring lady whom I’ve been admiring ever since
    I started to read this blog!

    • Oh dear, thank you so so much for these kind words! I appreciate it a lot!

  76. Du hast recht!
    Ich finde die Balance zwischen “guter” und “übertriebener” Selbstkritik sehr schwer…
    Aber dein Outfit sieht toll aus! Ich liebe die Chloe Tasche :)

    Liebe Grüße

    • Ich hadere auch oft damit. Den Perfektionismus in Massen ist ja ganz gut, wenn er anspornt die Ziele zu erreichen. Man muss nur immer stark darauf achten, sich nicht in etwas zu verbeissen, wozu ich leider sehr stark neige. Aber es bessert sich, wenn ich mich bewusst darum bemühe =)